This weekend, I went to a charity boxing match to support a good friend of mine. Now, without sounding like a stuck up Dublin South-sider who clearly has Arab roots but is secretly from Kilkenny (’03-’08 baby, my secret shame), I want to set the scene a little bit…
You may have read about my back-to-Ireland culture shock (Here, if not) but this was a culture shock on a whole new level. A boxing ring was set in the centre of the boiling hot room, raffle ticket sellers were everywhere, from the age groups of the attendees (12-90) it was obvious to tell that many of the fighters brought along their family members for support, between each of the three rounds a scantily-clad woman walked around with a board to show what round it was (note that there was no scantily-clad men doing the same job but that’s a post for another day).
Okay, I’m going to sound like a such south side snob as I describe the proprietors of this “undisclosed location”… North-Siders, North-Siders everywhere! The stereotype exists. Anto’s and Jacinta’s everywhere. I never thought I’d see it so close in real life. I’ve written about it (here). I’ve seen the fights on buses, and the red luas line. I’ve seen it on David Attenborough’s, Into the Wild. But I’d never thought I’d sit so closely to it. Beautiful girls, dressed well, amazing dresses, designer coats, fake tan, hair done, full make up – flaaaawlesssss (most of them anyway, there were some real dog faces out there, as there would be in any place, sure yknow yourself). These ladies put me to shame. I don’t often frequent places where people are so dressed-up. I was wearing a pair of lack jeans, a fresh prince of Bel-Air style vintage shirt from Paris, a black fur coat, a fur head band, and enough gold jewellery to look like either a pimp or an Italian mobster (but I probably wouldn’t pass for Italian)… The ladies branded me as “funky” and said “funky’s gud”. A compliment is it? Best friends already.
How well dressed these ladies were was not what shocked me about them, but it was what came out of their elegant-looking mouths. Oh, I’ve never laughed more manically to myself in a female toilet cubicle before in my life… The loudest sounds, in the thickest North-Side accents I’ve ever heard. I peered into all the cubicles, looking for one that was suitable for me to use, as a group of 6 girls filed into the ones I’ve deemed unacceptable – “Jaysus, dying fer a piss”, “Yea, least ya don’t have ta shite”, “Had no time fer a shower”, “Grand, jus wash yer fanny girl, AHAHA”. Never have I heard the likes in my life. Especially considering the fact that I was under the impression that girls don’t actually “go” to the toilet. I certainly don’t.
We ended up hanging out with these girls throughout the event and they were not only lovely people, with their own interesting lives, achievements, and stories, but they were a lot of fun. Although it was a crowd I never thought I’d get along with, they were full of kind gestures, and more compliments, etc, etc, etc…
Let me get to the point. At one stage, I had put my bag and coat down underneath a table where other people had their things, and went upstairs to use my phone. In my absence, a girl who fits into the description above, walked over to the people who’s stuff was there and asked them all to “check their pockets” because there was a black girl on the loose, she must be stealing your shiiiit. THUS, a letter.
I didn’t see you in person, but I’m pretty sure you have the face of a bitch. Let’s move on. I was hurt and shocked by your small-minded ignorant actions this weekend. I would love to know what went through your head as everyone around you checked their pockets (and I’m sure they did, as anyone would when warned to do so) and found that all their belongings were where they left them. I wonder would you regret your actions, rethink your racism, and never judge someone based on the misconceptions you have based on their skin colour again? I’d like to believe so, but I greatly doubt it…
Here’s the thing bitchface, I guess I don’t really blame you. Yes, you read that right (Can you read though?). When I first walked into this place which will remain undisclosed, the first thing I thought was “Yup, I’m going to get robbed here”, or “Jaysus, this is the kind of place ISIS would bomb”, and I’m not the ignorant, uneducated twat that I thought you were. I grew up in a multi-cultural environment, on a high horse that I thought excepted every background… but my own misconceptions of the North-Side people (“Social experiment” I called it) taught me a lot this weekend. Although, I didn’t target anyone individually – it was the individuals that I warmed up to, I’m still definitely sure it’s the kind of establishment that theft happens (really, you should see this place) – I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make an assumption like that and have it sit well with me again. So yea, thanks Bitchface for teaching me a life lesson I’ll never forget.
One Bitchface, you should never mess with (Me).